Today, I was nicer to people than I've been in a very long time.
My usual aversion to eye contact with any other human being was replaced with a genuine, toothy grin.
I didn't even sarcastically mock people, which is very uncharacteristic of me.
And how does Mother Nature decide to repay me?
By punching me in the face...with a rifle.
Maybe I should explain.

Long story short, I'm in Winter Guard.
It's basically Color Guard except 300x as intense.
Today, we had one of our many practices slight torture sessions.
We ran, we did push-ups, crunches, the whole she-bang.
Finally, it came time for equipment. We did our flag warm-up and then it was time for this kid:

Yeup. It's basically a hunk of wood that someone throws willy-nilly all over the place.
We did multiple excercises with our rifle. Then, we came to the final part of our rifle warm-up: a single parallel.
Whatever. I had been doing this move since the summer before my sophomore year. No biggie.
The butt of the rifle rested on my shoulder, I let go, it twirled in the air, and
WHAM!
My eye throbbed. The first thought that came to my head was, "Aw, I'm gonna have a black eye."
This worry quickly vanished when I heard the words, "Um, Mrs. _______, she's bleeding."
WHAT THE--?!
I sprinted for the bathroom with tears and blood spilling down my face.
Of course, having seen too many movies in my lifetime, the main thought running through my head was, "I'm going to go BLIND! NOOOOO!"
When I got into the restroom, I pulled my gloved hand away.
Red.
I looked in the mirror. There was a huge gash beneath my eye. All of this time, I though movies were exaggerating with their bloody effects, but--let me tell you--they're not. I'll spare you the gory details, but I swear, it looked fake. Luckily, I reached my mom via telefono and got to the nearest clinic to get some kind of medical superglue on the cut. It stings, but I'm fine. Besides, Mumsy got me ice cream.

Get me some Ben and Jerry's or I will break your face.

Unfortunately, all of this led to me having to miss my school's college fair. In all honesty, I was more upset by the fact that I shed a few tears. Silly, I know, but I am not a fan of crying in front of others. In addition to all of that, my new gloves and one of my favorite shirts are now bloodied (which is why I'm wearing a ridiculous Santa Smiley shirt). However, I must say that the most pathetic part of this whole ordeal is that fact that the entire time it was happening, all I could think was,
"Oh, I am so gonna blog about this."

Does Comedy Central count?

I want to marry this man and have beautiful mixed babies.

Seriously, though.
I don't watch the news like I used to because it was just starting to piss me off.
During the election last year, I tried to watch as many different stations as possible in an attempt to see all sides of the stories, but then I felt like Fox was getting kind out of hand with its accusations.
Now, in addition to that lovely man up there , I tend to get news from online sources
   

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